So, this day was one of those roller-coaster days where you are feeling pure joy, sadness, fear, happiness, confusion and every other emotion at some point in the day. But, it started with Lucy. For that, I am grateful.
I went to the Google and there it was, a loving tribute to my favorite redhead (other than myself), a happy birthday wish to Lucille Ball who would have been 100 this year. Lucy's death was very hard for me. She was one of the few celebrities I had ever idolized as a child. For me, she (and Carol Burnett) set the tone for what a redhead was like - funny and smart. That was what little girls with red hair grew up to be.
I hated my red hair as a child. I remember being about 5 years old and BEGGING my Aunt, a hairdresser, to die my hair. I wanted to look like Farrah Fawcett or Jaclyn Smith. They were cool! I remember her friend, Lou, who died her hair red, saying to me, "do you know what I would do to get your hair color?!" I was ever so willing to give it away at that point.
In the 70s, there were no "cool" redheads on tv. In the 80s I was presented with the vapid "Charlie's Angel" played by Tanya Roberts and The robot girl from "Small Wonder." Yeah, they did nothing for me. The other option was to be a sex symbol like Ginger on "Gilligan's Island" but that also didn't work for me at age 8. Luckily, at around age 10, I found Lucy. Then, I found Carol. Both women had created media empires. Both were multi-talented. Both were beautiful. More than anything, both were freaking hilarious! To this day, there are few things that make me laugh as much as the clips in this blog.
I had a sense of relief in finding women with whom I could identify. They set a roadmap for how I saw my life in some ways. I could be a vixen and a bitch (thank you redheaded movie harlots of the 40s!) but my strength would be in using my sense of humor to get me by. While certainly no Lucy or Carol, my sense of humor has served me well for many years. Aside from my red hair, it is probably my most commonly commented on trait. I am very proud of that.
So, Thank you Lucy (and Carol) for giving me an early role model to emulate that kicks ass! This child of the 70s is eternally grateful to you.
On to the rest of the roller-coaster:
I won my dream bicycle! It is pretty pink with a lime green stripe in the white of the tires with a lovely white basket and pretty green daisy on the handlebars. I love it. I have always believed in karma and this was a new reminder of how it works in my mind (did I mention someone stole my perfectly good bike just a few weeks ago?).
Then, there was marital tension...
Then, we went to pin night for my AA house so that I could receive my 1 year coin (a little belatedly). The Ala-non and AA speakers were great, as always. Our 15 minute break came and I thought it would be a good time to discuss the marital tension...which led to me crying shortly before going up to get my 1 year coin. It was partly a good cry. It was also a scared cry. I feel a little like a fish out of water and I am trying to get back in, but the slow going nature of the tide and my current mental inability to flop harder is stressful - for all involved.
I received my coin. I thanked my sponsor. I thanked my wife and got choked up. I then dedicated the coin to Bailey, our 6 year old cat, because he gave up drinking with me (and he was a BOOZER). I don't know if the emotion that came through in my voice conveyed how much love and gratitude I have for my wife to everyone, but I hope she felt it. However, I have figured out, I think, that our love for each other may be too strong. Is that possible? The root of any misunderstanding we have stems from our inability to communicate our worries about life to each other - more than any other thing. We can talk about our days, our happiness, our anger with others, etc. Somehow, we try to protect the other one from knowing that we are worried about things and it keeps getting in the way. I feel like we need to share a daily log about the top 5 things we are concerned about with each other each day. Now that I think about it, maybe I can apply the "Miracles in 40 days" method that Melody Beattie wrote about. You basically write that you are grateful for whatever is eating at you until you are able to release it to your Higher Power. Should I be sharing this thought with the blogosphere before running it by her? I am not sure, but if I weren't having this chat with the blogosphere at 3:20am on Sunday, August 7th, I wouldn't have thought of it so, who's to say.
I ended the night by joining some friends for some karaoke fun at Grumpy's in Roseville and I have a few closing thoughts:
1) It takes a very brave (or drunk) man to publicly display his knowledge of Rick Astley lyrics.
2) "Ice Ice Baby" will NEVER go away. Embrace it.
3) "Bye Bye Bye"by Nsync is kinda awesome when tipsy guys do it...and include the dance moves.
4) Slow songs late at night aren't fun. Please avoid singing them if at all possible. love, karaoke fans
5) Karaoke is never boring!
To further illustrate my point about redheads, enjoy the clips below. Pretty bicycle pics will be posted soon. And, since I have no Caribou cup near me, my wisdom will have to come from AA: Just keep showing up.
http://fan.tcm.com/_Vitameatavegamin/VIDEO/813173/66470.html
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7QEofzEazU
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
The "Tea Party" scares me...but I used to love them as a child.
It frightens me that there is a contingency in this nation that is large enough to bring Michele Bachmann to the head of the class in National politics. She is a hypocrite. Bachmann bashes welfare, but her husbands clinic, the main source of financial support for the family, receives welfare payments - medicaid, etc. for their patients that are unable to meet the financial burdens of treatment. So, if I am gay and want to be "cured", welfare is okay. If I am a single mom with a sick kid that works 2 jobs and still lives at or just above the poverty line, I am a welfare whore... is that how it works, Michele? Well, guess what? You're wrong!
Yes, there are people that abuse the system. Yes, improvements can and should be made to reduce fraud and overall costs. However, destroying a system that lends a helping hand in a time of need is not American, and it certainly isn't Christian. I have heard MN State GOPers claim that the answer should lie in the hands of the community, not the state, to reduce the burden on the poor and middle-class. Well, I am calling "bullshit." Churches are seeing more people at the doors and few dollars in tithing. The middle-class and poor simply do not have the money to give as they used to. Churches, in turn, have to work with less to help more people. So, who steps up in the community? 80% of the time or more it will be the working class, female neighbor that steps in to run errands for the person in need down the street. She loses quality time with her own family, money in gas, etc. Let's be honest, when was the last time a member from the wealthy family up the street personally leant time to the community? Again, they put the burden back on the very group (middle-class) that the GOP claims to have concerns for.
There are 7,700 people in the State of Minnesota that would receive the tax increase that is being proposed by Governor Dayton. There are currently 25,800 CHILDREN living below the poverty line in MN. Something in those numbers seems unbelievably wrong. These numbers do not represent a state that has its priorities in order. What the Hell are we doing leaders? Not just GOP, but DFL as well. There are reasonable GOPers that are putting their names and desires to find compromise out there. WORK WITH THEM!!! It is clear that Sen. Koch and Rep. Zellers simply do not care about what is right and are solely focused on the 2012 election. Go to the GOPers that actually care what happens to the people of Minnesota and work this out. Minnesota is counting on you.
http://abcnews.go.com/Blotter/
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/
http://www.thefamilyleader.
Back to Michele and Marcus - how wonderful it must be to live in a big, glass house that is apparently stone-proof. As a Minnesotan, I am grateful that you have been so ineffective in representing our state at a national level. Thank God for small favors! As a lesbian that has been happily coupled for nearly 15 years, thank God I went to Hazelden and not Bachmann & Associates for treatment for my addictions. I can't imagine getting through the last year, one of the toughest of my life, without my wife and best friend. This is one proud lesbian that is so happy I have never had a personal encounter with either of you. Your public life of judgment and hatred disturb me. Your religious pronouncements remind me of a Ghandi quote: "I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ." I am a child of God, just like you. He loves us the same, without condition. Stop spreading the hatred, lies and misinformation. That is not what an elected official is elected to do.
My request: can everyone just take a couple of days to play nicely in the sandbox, like we all did when we were 5. Remember what it was like to view everyone as a friend, without labels; just work it out. If it helps, use a phrase that a brilliant young man shared with the group last night at AA: "The God in me sees the God in you." Such a great place for all of us to start.
It frightens me that there is a contingency in this nation that is large enough to bring Michele Bachmann to the head of the class in National politics. She is a hypocrite. Bachmann bashes welfare, but her husbands clinic, the main source of financial support for the family, receives welfare payments - medicaid, etc. for their patients that are unable to meet the financial burdens of treatment. So, if I am gay and want to be "cured", welfare is okay. If I am a single mom with a sick kid that works 2 jobs and still lives at or just above the poverty line, I am a welfare whore... is that how it works, Michele? Well, guess what? You're wrong!
Yes, there are people that abuse the system. Yes, improvements can and should be made to reduce fraud and overall costs. However, destroying a system that lends a helping hand in a time of need is not American, and it certainly isn't Christian. I have heard MN State GOPers claim that the answer should lie in the hands of the community, not the state, to reduce the burden on the poor and middle-class. Well, I am calling "bullshit." Churches are seeing more people at the doors and few dollars in tithing. The middle-class and poor simply do not have the money to give as they used to. Churches, in turn, have to work with less to help more people. So, who steps up in the community? 80% of the time or more it will be the working class, female neighbor that steps in to run errands for the person in need down the street. She loses quality time with her own family, money in gas, etc. Let's be honest, when was the last time a member from the wealthy family up the street personally leant time to the community? Again, they put the burden back on the very group (middle-class) that the GOP claims to have concerns for.
There are 7,700 people in the State of Minnesota that would receive the tax increase that is being proposed by Governor Dayton. There are currently 25,800 CHILDREN living below the poverty line in MN. Something in those numbers seems unbelievably wrong. These numbers do not represent a state that has its priorities in order. What the Hell are we doing leaders? Not just GOP, but DFL as well. There are reasonable GOPers that are putting their names and desires to find compromise out there. WORK WITH THEM!!! It is clear that Sen. Koch and Rep. Zellers simply do not care about what is right and are solely focused on the 2012 election. Go to the GOPers that actually care what happens to the people of Minnesota and work this out. Minnesota is counting on you.
http://abcnews.go.com/Blotter/
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/
http://www.thefamilyleader.
Back to Michele and Marcus - how wonderful it must be to live in a big, glass house that is apparently stone-proof. As a Minnesotan, I am grateful that you have been so ineffective in representing our state at a national level. Thank God for small favors! As a lesbian that has been happily coupled for nearly 15 years, thank God I went to Hazelden and not Bachmann & Associates for treatment for my addictions. I can't imagine getting through the last year, one of the toughest of my life, without my wife and best friend. This is one proud lesbian that is so happy I have never had a personal encounter with either of you. Your public life of judgment and hatred disturb me. Your religious pronouncements remind me of a Ghandi quote: "I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ." I am a child of God, just like you. He loves us the same, without condition. Stop spreading the hatred, lies and misinformation. That is not what an elected official is elected to do.
My request: can everyone just take a couple of days to play nicely in the sandbox, like we all did when we were 5. Remember what it was like to view everyone as a friend, without labels; just work it out. If it helps, use a phrase that a brilliant young man shared with the group last night at AA: "The God in me sees the God in you." Such a great place for all of us to start.
Friday, May 20, 2011
I can't stop chanting!
Well, there are so many things I have thought I should have blogged in the last few weeks, but I know this one is important.
Minnesota is tinkering with the idea of writing hatred into the state constitution. The proposed amendment has already passed the MN Senate and awaits a vote on the House Floor. For four days, I have been at the Capitol watching people be removed from hearings while pleading with Representatives to not write discrimination into the Constitution and chanting to the point of laryngitis. The DFL (& a few GOP) Members are cheering us on and being greeted like rockstars. You would think Springsteen was ready to take the stage by the reaction they get. the decibel level of the chant du moment EXPLODES when someone enters or exits through the main doors. It is awesome and powerful to feel a connection to so many that share your common cause - equality.
It appears that we will be here late tonight and back for more fun tomorrow. If you're looking for a good time with some fun people that really know how to rhyme words, you should come join us at the Capitol tomorrow. The best way to keep your civil rights is to use them people!
Xoxo,
Me
Minnesota is tinkering with the idea of writing hatred into the state constitution. The proposed amendment has already passed the MN Senate and awaits a vote on the House Floor. For four days, I have been at the Capitol watching people be removed from hearings while pleading with Representatives to not write discrimination into the Constitution and chanting to the point of laryngitis. The DFL (& a few GOP) Members are cheering us on and being greeted like rockstars. You would think Springsteen was ready to take the stage by the reaction they get. the decibel level of the chant du moment EXPLODES when someone enters or exits through the main doors. It is awesome and powerful to feel a connection to so many that share your common cause - equality.
It appears that we will be here late tonight and back for more fun tomorrow. If you're looking for a good time with some fun people that really know how to rhyme words, you should come join us at the Capitol tomorrow. The best way to keep your civil rights is to use them people!
Xoxo,
Me
Friday, February 18, 2011
this will be a long-ass post.
I am sad.
A friend passed away because of drugs. He was talented. A leader and mentor. A truly funny and snarky individual. He was always willing to bum a smoke to a social drinking smoker (me). His life was cut short far too soon. And, I am trying not to dwell on the question of why him and not me, but it is hard to not think about it.
I am blessed to be surrounded by people that I knew would love me no matter what. He was too. So, how did I get sober and he lose his life. It is so unfair and so random. I don't know why I am still here, but I know that I am so grateful for every additional day I get on this planet. I love and feel more deeply then I ever thought possible, which is hysterically ironic for a person that used to drink and take drugs for an escape from feeling. I have faith that he is in a more peaceful place. I pray that he knows how loved he was and realizes how many lives he touched & inspired during his time on this planet.
I have decided to take this sadness and channel it into something positive. I am not quite sure how yet, but it will come to me.
Rest in Peace, Kent Berg.
I am so MAD!
Every time I watch the news and the 2nd or 3rd story in is about Lindsay Lohan or Charlie Sheen or Brett Favre, I can feel the anger all the way to my toes. Honestly, who the hell cares? Celebrities aren't news. They are fluff. Unfortunately, it feels like the fluff in the world has taken center stage and we are putting all of our attention on the "filler" of the world. Women, do you know that Congress has just zeroed out funding for Planned Parenthood? No more access to family planning and contraceptive assistance. Mom and Dad, do you know that Congress is currently trying to zero out funding for Public Television and Radio across the country? That's right, no more "Sesame Street" for Bobby & Janie. No more "Prairie Home Companion" for millions of listeners across the country. How will the kids learn their ABCs and 123s? How will we get the latest news from Lake Wobegon? WHY AREN'T YOU MORE ENRAGED ABOUT THIS THAN YOU ARE ABOUT A SPOILED ACTOR THROWING FITS? They have no direct impact on your life. Real decisions being made by your elected officials do.
I propose that everyone take 30 minutes a day to see what legislation has been introduced at the State or Federal level that could have an impact on the immediate world around you. For example, in MN elected officials are trying to hold 10 year olds liable as adults for serious violent offenses (i.e., a 10 year old could do life in prison for murder). We also have a bill to negate equal pay for women working in local government. I hope you just said, "what?!"
I am just asking that we all pay attention to what is real and what is important.
I am happy!
In just a few days, I will be sitting to be admitted to the State Bar of MN. This is not exciting because I want to be a lawyer; I am not really aiming for that. It is exciting because it is one of those things I was too afraid to even attempt when I was popping pills and drinking. Life is so much more fun and exciting when you are living it and not running from it. I am glad I figured it out when I did. In 2011, I have: been to the Caribbean; eaten escargot for the first time; readied myself for taking the Bar; and, started painting and writing again as a way to express myself in a healthy way. I kind of find my sober self to be pretty frickin' awesome!
Okay. I am feeling calmer and ready to re-focus my energies where they belong. This blog is a bit of mini-AA for me when I am unable to be at a meeting but I need to Let go and Let God. I am going back to my studies now, but as always I will leave you with eye-candy and a random thought.
Eye-Candy 1: Congresswoman Jackie Speier speaking on the House floor in opposition to the Pence Amendment. A great example of why we should pay attention.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ky2gylhdXRA
Eye-Candy 2: Because laughter is the most healing thing the World has to offer.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vlVTbBPCtk
And, because I am studying at Caribou Coffee at MOA, again, I offer you this random thought: "Be the Ruler of your own life."
Amen.
A friend passed away because of drugs. He was talented. A leader and mentor. A truly funny and snarky individual. He was always willing to bum a smoke to a social drinking smoker (me). His life was cut short far too soon. And, I am trying not to dwell on the question of why him and not me, but it is hard to not think about it.
I am blessed to be surrounded by people that I knew would love me no matter what. He was too. So, how did I get sober and he lose his life. It is so unfair and so random. I don't know why I am still here, but I know that I am so grateful for every additional day I get on this planet. I love and feel more deeply then I ever thought possible, which is hysterically ironic for a person that used to drink and take drugs for an escape from feeling. I have faith that he is in a more peaceful place. I pray that he knows how loved he was and realizes how many lives he touched & inspired during his time on this planet.
I have decided to take this sadness and channel it into something positive. I am not quite sure how yet, but it will come to me.
Rest in Peace, Kent Berg.
I am so MAD!
Every time I watch the news and the 2nd or 3rd story in is about Lindsay Lohan or Charlie Sheen or Brett Favre, I can feel the anger all the way to my toes. Honestly, who the hell cares? Celebrities aren't news. They are fluff. Unfortunately, it feels like the fluff in the world has taken center stage and we are putting all of our attention on the "filler" of the world. Women, do you know that Congress has just zeroed out funding for Planned Parenthood? No more access to family planning and contraceptive assistance. Mom and Dad, do you know that Congress is currently trying to zero out funding for Public Television and Radio across the country? That's right, no more "Sesame Street" for Bobby & Janie. No more "Prairie Home Companion" for millions of listeners across the country. How will the kids learn their ABCs and 123s? How will we get the latest news from Lake Wobegon? WHY AREN'T YOU MORE ENRAGED ABOUT THIS THAN YOU ARE ABOUT A SPOILED ACTOR THROWING FITS? They have no direct impact on your life. Real decisions being made by your elected officials do.
I propose that everyone take 30 minutes a day to see what legislation has been introduced at the State or Federal level that could have an impact on the immediate world around you. For example, in MN elected officials are trying to hold 10 year olds liable as adults for serious violent offenses (i.e., a 10 year old could do life in prison for murder). We also have a bill to negate equal pay for women working in local government. I hope you just said, "what?!"
I am just asking that we all pay attention to what is real and what is important.
I am happy!
In just a few days, I will be sitting to be admitted to the State Bar of MN. This is not exciting because I want to be a lawyer; I am not really aiming for that. It is exciting because it is one of those things I was too afraid to even attempt when I was popping pills and drinking. Life is so much more fun and exciting when you are living it and not running from it. I am glad I figured it out when I did. In 2011, I have: been to the Caribbean; eaten escargot for the first time; readied myself for taking the Bar; and, started painting and writing again as a way to express myself in a healthy way. I kind of find my sober self to be pretty frickin' awesome!
Okay. I am feeling calmer and ready to re-focus my energies where they belong. This blog is a bit of mini-AA for me when I am unable to be at a meeting but I need to Let go and Let God. I am going back to my studies now, but as always I will leave you with eye-candy and a random thought.
Eye-Candy 1: Congresswoman Jackie Speier speaking on the House floor in opposition to the Pence Amendment. A great example of why we should pay attention.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ky2gylhdXRA
Eye-Candy 2: Because laughter is the most healing thing the World has to offer.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vlVTbBPCtk
And, because I am studying at Caribou Coffee at MOA, again, I offer you this random thought: "Be the Ruler of your own life."
Amen.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Racism was, and is, a reality. Deal with it!
Have I ever mentioned that censorship really pisses me off? Well, it does.
New editions of "Adventures of Huckleberry Finn" and "Tom Sawyer" will not include the word "nigger" but use "slave" instead. Why? Is it because the new editor is from the South and, as he estimated, crowds feel less uncomfortable when they hear slave? Who cares?! This should not be about what makes people more or less comfortable. This is about censorship and redacting pieces of our historical record.
People that believe race relations are vastly improved in America, and there are some, believe so because of the facade the Political Correctness movement has provided. We have civilized terms to describe people of non-anglo-American backgrounds so now we are all equal. Hooray! I call it bullshit. Sorry, America. If you want real improvement in race relations, let's actually talk about why the word "nigger" makes us so uncomfortable. Let's bring up some of those other bad words too - spic, kike, jap, fag, injun.
People that still practice and breed hatred may not take issue with the terms I used above, but the majority of us do. Someone says one of these words and tension fills the room; people look around to see how others respond. If it is used in a play or in comedy, we pause to see if it is okay to laugh. You can almost feel the muscles contract of the person sitting next to you. For people watchers like myself, it is fascinating to watch.
In some ways I liken it to my journey into sobriety. I was so afraid of dealing with the realities of my life and the "unfun" parts of it that I found it easier to ignore it with pills and alcohol. We are so afraid of offending others, disagreements and unease that we just pretend it is all okay. We are collective addicts of the "political correctness" pill. I say we need to sober up!
I realize that the word nigger is powerfully offensive, but it is part of our history. This kind of censorship equates to an attempt to erase negative pieces of our national history. The hatred and inequality of how minorities were, and are, treated in America should not be softened to appease our collective conscience. It will be more difficult to learn from our mistakes if we have censored them all.
Divertido, Fe y Besitos!
New editions of "Adventures of Huckleberry Finn" and "Tom Sawyer" will not include the word "nigger" but use "slave" instead. Why? Is it because the new editor is from the South and, as he estimated, crowds feel less uncomfortable when they hear slave? Who cares?! This should not be about what makes people more or less comfortable. This is about censorship and redacting pieces of our historical record.
People that believe race relations are vastly improved in America, and there are some, believe so because of the facade the Political Correctness movement has provided. We have civilized terms to describe people of non-anglo-American backgrounds so now we are all equal. Hooray! I call it bullshit. Sorry, America. If you want real improvement in race relations, let's actually talk about why the word "nigger" makes us so uncomfortable. Let's bring up some of those other bad words too - spic, kike, jap, fag, injun.
People that still practice and breed hatred may not take issue with the terms I used above, but the majority of us do. Someone says one of these words and tension fills the room; people look around to see how others respond. If it is used in a play or in comedy, we pause to see if it is okay to laugh. You can almost feel the muscles contract of the person sitting next to you. For people watchers like myself, it is fascinating to watch.
In some ways I liken it to my journey into sobriety. I was so afraid of dealing with the realities of my life and the "unfun" parts of it that I found it easier to ignore it with pills and alcohol. We are so afraid of offending others, disagreements and unease that we just pretend it is all okay. We are collective addicts of the "political correctness" pill. I say we need to sober up!
I realize that the word nigger is powerfully offensive, but it is part of our history. This kind of censorship equates to an attempt to erase negative pieces of our national history. The hatred and inequality of how minorities were, and are, treated in America should not be softened to appease our collective conscience. It will be more difficult to learn from our mistakes if we have censored them all.
Divertido, Fe y Besitos!
Saturday, December 25, 2010
I wish you a Merry Christmas, but there's a reason it isn't in a letter.
Merry Christmas to All!
There was actual talk of doing a Christmas letter and a return to making an effort to stay in touch by sending out cards; however, we came to our senses and realized we just aren't good at that. I think my 2011 resolution is going to be to send letters and cards again. I used to be amazing at it but I have gotten lazy in my middle-age. More importantly, I came to the realization that people might get really bummed out by our Christmas letter!
It has not been the easiest of years. 2010 carried on a tradition of craptastic happenings for the last few years. There have been some very heartbreaking and challenging moments the last few years for Sheryl and I but this year was somehow harder. I imagine this years letter would have gone something like this:
"The year started out busy for us. Then Christina started isolating herself from things. She was sick, as usual. She almost died from an overdose. 10 days later she was in rehab. The 28 day stay was good - good food, good company & emotionally draining. Christina came home and we have had issues communicating. Fights are more commonplace for us as we struggle to figure out communication and how it works when one half of the couple is finally present in the relationship. Sheryl was promoted to Store Manager at Mall of America at Pearle Vision!" Yeah. See what I mean?
The good news for us is the communication issues are being worked out. The good news for me is that I really have become more patient with most aspects of life. I am also enjoying living outside of the walls of fear that have surrounded me most of my adult life. I am going to take the bar - and pass it - in February. Fear is no longer is holding me back! Better watch out cuz I am feelin' AFU peeps!
So, with 6 months and 4 days of sobriety, I wish you a very blessed and joyous Christmas.
Here is the obligatory video to make you smile: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q_udqEp_YR4 (if you don't smile, you probably got coal in your stocking!)
And, our Caribou Christmastime quotable: "Kiss more under the mistletoe." AMEN!
There was actual talk of doing a Christmas letter and a return to making an effort to stay in touch by sending out cards; however, we came to our senses and realized we just aren't good at that. I think my 2011 resolution is going to be to send letters and cards again. I used to be amazing at it but I have gotten lazy in my middle-age. More importantly, I came to the realization that people might get really bummed out by our Christmas letter!
It has not been the easiest of years. 2010 carried on a tradition of craptastic happenings for the last few years. There have been some very heartbreaking and challenging moments the last few years for Sheryl and I but this year was somehow harder. I imagine this years letter would have gone something like this:
"The year started out busy for us. Then Christina started isolating herself from things. She was sick, as usual. She almost died from an overdose. 10 days later she was in rehab. The 28 day stay was good - good food, good company & emotionally draining. Christina came home and we have had issues communicating. Fights are more commonplace for us as we struggle to figure out communication and how it works when one half of the couple is finally present in the relationship. Sheryl was promoted to Store Manager at Mall of America at Pearle Vision!" Yeah. See what I mean?
The good news for us is the communication issues are being worked out. The good news for me is that I really have become more patient with most aspects of life. I am also enjoying living outside of the walls of fear that have surrounded me most of my adult life. I am going to take the bar - and pass it - in February. Fear is no longer is holding me back! Better watch out cuz I am feelin' AFU peeps!
So, with 6 months and 4 days of sobriety, I wish you a very blessed and joyous Christmas.
Here is the obligatory video to make you smile: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q_udqEp_YR4 (if you don't smile, you probably got coal in your stocking!)
And, our Caribou Christmastime quotable: "Kiss more under the mistletoe." AMEN!
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
I don't get it.
How do you change and grow as an individual when you are part of a couple? Anyone? I am trying to figure that out myself.
I am still fairly newly sober (163 days). I feel like my life is a whirlwind right now. I am dealing with adult problems like an actual adult instead of ignoring and getting high. I am being laid off because of poor democrat turn out in the election (you know who you are buttheads!) and I am not in a panic. I am trusting myself to look hard and have faith that the next right opportunity for me is out there. Worrying about it won't change the fact I don't have a job. However, if this was happening 150 days ago, I would have been FREAKING OUT! That's what I did - worried... and avoided... and slept. Now, I am focused and determined. I can't explain it, but it is was it is.
Hopefully you understand some of the ways in which I am changing. Now, add another person to the mix. That person, in my case, is the love of my life. The woman I married in front of family, friends and God. We laugh. We love music. We love movies and TV. We can finish each others' sentences. She has always been the one in our relationship who is strong and dependable. I have always been the one that does not put much thought into the next step. That is changing.
The challenge: Continue to grow and also be supportive of the sudden changes in your loved ones' life. wow. That makes my head hurt. I get that it must involve both partners. Communication is key. What if that is not happening? How do you start the conversation without forcing change upon the other person? This is what I am struggling with. I want to keep growing but I want my wife on this journey with me as well. More importantly, I wish for her to find her bliss as I am trying to find mine.
I am trying to practice loving detachment. I don't know if I am any good at it. I guess time will tell. Now, I must sleep because I will be laid off tomorrow. My life is simply too glamorous for words my friends.
Now, for my Caribou wisdom: "Laugh so hard you cry." One of my favorite things to do!
Two Leslie Nielsen clips that makes me laugh (RIP Lt. Frank Drebin):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhyCL-ELRxg&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMRo5XCKddQ&NR=1
I am still fairly newly sober (163 days). I feel like my life is a whirlwind right now. I am dealing with adult problems like an actual adult instead of ignoring and getting high. I am being laid off because of poor democrat turn out in the election (you know who you are buttheads!) and I am not in a panic. I am trusting myself to look hard and have faith that the next right opportunity for me is out there. Worrying about it won't change the fact I don't have a job. However, if this was happening 150 days ago, I would have been FREAKING OUT! That's what I did - worried... and avoided... and slept. Now, I am focused and determined. I can't explain it, but it is was it is.
Hopefully you understand some of the ways in which I am changing. Now, add another person to the mix. That person, in my case, is the love of my life. The woman I married in front of family, friends and God. We laugh. We love music. We love movies and TV. We can finish each others' sentences. She has always been the one in our relationship who is strong and dependable. I have always been the one that does not put much thought into the next step. That is changing.
The challenge: Continue to grow and also be supportive of the sudden changes in your loved ones' life. wow. That makes my head hurt. I get that it must involve both partners. Communication is key. What if that is not happening? How do you start the conversation without forcing change upon the other person? This is what I am struggling with. I want to keep growing but I want my wife on this journey with me as well. More importantly, I wish for her to find her bliss as I am trying to find mine.
I am trying to practice loving detachment. I don't know if I am any good at it. I guess time will tell. Now, I must sleep because I will be laid off tomorrow. My life is simply too glamorous for words my friends.
Now, for my Caribou wisdom: "Laugh so hard you cry." One of my favorite things to do!
Two Leslie Nielsen clips that makes me laugh (RIP Lt. Frank Drebin):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhyCL-ELRxg&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMRo5XCKddQ&NR=1
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