I am sad.
A friend passed away because of drugs. He was talented. A leader and mentor. A truly funny and snarky individual. He was always willing to bum a smoke to a social drinking smoker (me). His life was cut short far too soon. And, I am trying not to dwell on the question of why him and not me, but it is hard to not think about it.
I am blessed to be surrounded by people that I knew would love me no matter what. He was too. So, how did I get sober and he lose his life. It is so unfair and so random. I don't know why I am still here, but I know that I am so grateful for every additional day I get on this planet. I love and feel more deeply then I ever thought possible, which is hysterically ironic for a person that used to drink and take drugs for an escape from feeling. I have faith that he is in a more peaceful place. I pray that he knows how loved he was and realizes how many lives he touched & inspired during his time on this planet.
I have decided to take this sadness and channel it into something positive. I am not quite sure how yet, but it will come to me.
Rest in Peace, Kent Berg.
I am so MAD!
Every time I watch the news and the 2nd or 3rd story in is about Lindsay Lohan or Charlie Sheen or Brett Favre, I can feel the anger all the way to my toes. Honestly, who the hell cares? Celebrities aren't news. They are fluff. Unfortunately, it feels like the fluff in the world has taken center stage and we are putting all of our attention on the "filler" of the world. Women, do you know that Congress has just zeroed out funding for Planned Parenthood? No more access to family planning and contraceptive assistance. Mom and Dad, do you know that Congress is currently trying to zero out funding for Public Television and Radio across the country? That's right, no more "Sesame Street" for Bobby & Janie. No more "Prairie Home Companion" for millions of listeners across the country. How will the kids learn their ABCs and 123s? How will we get the latest news from Lake Wobegon? WHY AREN'T YOU MORE ENRAGED ABOUT THIS THAN YOU ARE ABOUT A SPOILED ACTOR THROWING FITS? They have no direct impact on your life. Real decisions being made by your elected officials do.
I propose that everyone take 30 minutes a day to see what legislation has been introduced at the State or Federal level that could have an impact on the immediate world around you. For example, in MN elected officials are trying to hold 10 year olds liable as adults for serious violent offenses (i.e., a 10 year old could do life in prison for murder). We also have a bill to negate equal pay for women working in local government. I hope you just said, "what?!"
I am just asking that we all pay attention to what is real and what is important.
I am happy!
In just a few days, I will be sitting to be admitted to the State Bar of MN. This is not exciting because I want to be a lawyer; I am not really aiming for that. It is exciting because it is one of those things I was too afraid to even attempt when I was popping pills and drinking. Life is so much more fun and exciting when you are living it and not running from it. I am glad I figured it out when I did. In 2011, I have: been to the Caribbean; eaten escargot for the first time; readied myself for taking the Bar; and, started painting and writing again as a way to express myself in a healthy way. I kind of find my sober self to be pretty frickin' awesome!
Okay. I am feeling calmer and ready to re-focus my energies where they belong. This blog is a bit of mini-AA for me when I am unable to be at a meeting but I need to Let go and Let God. I am going back to my studies now, but as always I will leave you with eye-candy and a random thought.
Eye-Candy 1: Congresswoman Jackie Speier speaking on the House floor in opposition to the Pence Amendment. A great example of why we should pay attention.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ky2gylhdXRA
Eye-Candy 2: Because laughter is the most healing thing the World has to offer.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vlVTbBPCtk
And, because I am studying at Caribou Coffee at MOA, again, I offer you this random thought: "Be the Ruler of your own life."
Amen.
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