So, this day was one of those roller-coaster days where you are feeling pure joy, sadness, fear, happiness, confusion and every other emotion at some point in the day. But, it started with Lucy. For that, I am grateful.
I went to the Google and there it was, a loving tribute to my favorite redhead (other than myself), a happy birthday wish to Lucille Ball who would have been 100 this year. Lucy's death was very hard for me. She was one of the few celebrities I had ever idolized as a child. For me, she (and Carol Burnett) set the tone for what a redhead was like - funny and smart. That was what little girls with red hair grew up to be.
I hated my red hair as a child. I remember being about 5 years old and BEGGING my Aunt, a hairdresser, to die my hair. I wanted to look like Farrah Fawcett or Jaclyn Smith. They were cool! I remember her friend, Lou, who died her hair red, saying to me, "do you know what I would do to get your hair color?!" I was ever so willing to give it away at that point.
In the 70s, there were no "cool" redheads on tv. In the 80s I was presented with the vapid "Charlie's Angel" played by Tanya Roberts and The robot girl from "Small Wonder." Yeah, they did nothing for me. The other option was to be a sex symbol like Ginger on "Gilligan's Island" but that also didn't work for me at age 8. Luckily, at around age 10, I found Lucy. Then, I found Carol. Both women had created media empires. Both were multi-talented. Both were beautiful. More than anything, both were freaking hilarious! To this day, there are few things that make me laugh as much as the clips in this blog.
I had a sense of relief in finding women with whom I could identify. They set a roadmap for how I saw my life in some ways. I could be a vixen and a bitch (thank you redheaded movie harlots of the 40s!) but my strength would be in using my sense of humor to get me by. While certainly no Lucy or Carol, my sense of humor has served me well for many years. Aside from my red hair, it is probably my most commonly commented on trait. I am very proud of that.
So, Thank you Lucy (and Carol) for giving me an early role model to emulate that kicks ass! This child of the 70s is eternally grateful to you.
On to the rest of the roller-coaster:
I won my dream bicycle! It is pretty pink with a lime green stripe in the white of the tires with a lovely white basket and pretty green daisy on the handlebars. I love it. I have always believed in karma and this was a new reminder of how it works in my mind (did I mention someone stole my perfectly good bike just a few weeks ago?).
Then, there was marital tension...
Then, we went to pin night for my AA house so that I could receive my 1 year coin (a little belatedly). The Ala-non and AA speakers were great, as always. Our 15 minute break came and I thought it would be a good time to discuss the marital tension...which led to me crying shortly before going up to get my 1 year coin. It was partly a good cry. It was also a scared cry. I feel a little like a fish out of water and I am trying to get back in, but the slow going nature of the tide and my current mental inability to flop harder is stressful - for all involved.
I received my coin. I thanked my sponsor. I thanked my wife and got choked up. I then dedicated the coin to Bailey, our 6 year old cat, because he gave up drinking with me (and he was a BOOZER). I don't know if the emotion that came through in my voice conveyed how much love and gratitude I have for my wife to everyone, but I hope she felt it. However, I have figured out, I think, that our love for each other may be too strong. Is that possible? The root of any misunderstanding we have stems from our inability to communicate our worries about life to each other - more than any other thing. We can talk about our days, our happiness, our anger with others, etc. Somehow, we try to protect the other one from knowing that we are worried about things and it keeps getting in the way. I feel like we need to share a daily log about the top 5 things we are concerned about with each other each day. Now that I think about it, maybe I can apply the "Miracles in 40 days" method that Melody Beattie wrote about. You basically write that you are grateful for whatever is eating at you until you are able to release it to your Higher Power. Should I be sharing this thought with the blogosphere before running it by her? I am not sure, but if I weren't having this chat with the blogosphere at 3:20am on Sunday, August 7th, I wouldn't have thought of it so, who's to say.
I ended the night by joining some friends for some karaoke fun at Grumpy's in Roseville and I have a few closing thoughts:
1) It takes a very brave (or drunk) man to publicly display his knowledge of Rick Astley lyrics.
2) "Ice Ice Baby" will NEVER go away. Embrace it.
3) "Bye Bye Bye"by Nsync is kinda awesome when tipsy guys do it...and include the dance moves.
4) Slow songs late at night aren't fun. Please avoid singing them if at all possible. love, karaoke fans
5) Karaoke is never boring!
To further illustrate my point about redheads, enjoy the clips below. Pretty bicycle pics will be posted soon. And, since I have no Caribou cup near me, my wisdom will have to come from AA: Just keep showing up.
http://fan.tcm.com/_Vitameatavegamin/VIDEO/813173/66470.html
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7QEofzEazU
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